Today is monday morning 8:00 a.m

Yesterday(Sunday night) I was talking to Ankush over lots of trivial things that happens in our life.We associate to various people at various points of time in our life and they all are forgotten or atleast their importance reduces. Something very similar was happening to me as well without me realising that it is happening. I have lost some people and the very thing was not letting me think beyond a certain distance. I was not ready to let go something which I feel was very dear to me and was creating a closed chamber where the very dear would suffocate to death. Decided have I not to let that happen.Not that the dear would not remain dear any more but that dear would have all privileges of free thought and mind and I do want control of any of that.

Well let me see how long I can hold on to my decision and let the things happens.Let me let the river flow without the bank fearing that it would lose the river in due course.

"Yesterday and Today"

That was the day
I hated you
For reasons many
Some true to me
Some false
I never bothered
Never did I care

But then I never knew
This day would also come
When I would love you
For reasons many
Some true
Some false

Not that I regret
Or rejoice
But then you have become
A part of me
A thought I always have
Wanted I to remain unknown

Unknown to those feelings
I have for you now
For I do not want to lose
For I am captivated
by your arrogance blessed.

Life is empty and meaningless. Do I really need to say this ?

Realisation of one was always a diffcult one. Today I feel yes, I have realised it and then I feel elated for no reason that I am aware.

Not that I want to say I have achieved something that will set me apart from the people around. I still have those worldly ambitions and dreams.I still want them to be fulfilled.The only difference in my past self and as of today is probably the realisation that one should work towards ones own survival and that is the only goal worth living for. There is nothing worth you can sacrifice your life. We talk of friends, family and relatives and entangle ourselves to achieve what I donot know.Perhaps the gratification that one had become great in others views seems more important than once owns satisfaction.

Nothing more I am able to write, kept in draft state for long......